“You’re an 8? That’s one of the best types, I wish I was a cool type like an 8.”
I have heard that phrase or some variation of it too many times to count, and I’ve heard it said about several of my other fellow enneagrammers and their types.
Admittedly, I have found myself there, wishing I was a “better” type, like a 3 so I could be really productive and successful.
In fact, I tried really hard to be a type 7 all through high school and college because I admired how spontaneous and fun 7’s are. But no luck, I’m a type 8 through and through.
Let’s set things straight before we dive in
There is no such thing as a “cool” or “best” enneagram type.
If you’re ever found yourself (and I’m going to bet it’s most of us) wishing you were a “cool” enneagram type, here are 2 things to do.
1. Pay Attention
Spend time pondering why you think your own enneagram type is not one of the “cool” ones.
There is a lot to be gleaned and gained from that exercise. Rather than spending your time and energy comparing yourself to those other types, consider why you want to be those types
Why do you think a certain type is “cool” in comparison to your own?
What is it that you admire or aspire to be like in that type?
What unique gifts do they bring to the world that you appreciated?
Often times what we envy in others is related to personal insecurity or past even that we have not healed from.
Spend time pondering and jot some things down you observe, then …
2. Hold the mirror up to yourself
After you’ve spent time pondering the other types, what you admire or envy about them, hold the mirror up to yourself and look lovingly.
What judgments are you making about yourself and your type?
What makes you believe your type is too boring, not fun, not cool or whatever?
What unique gifts and abilities do you bring to the world as it relates to your type that you’re discounting?
By holding up the mirror to yourself and intentionally looking, you will find fascinating parts of yourself you may not have seen previously.
If you’re still unsure of your type or vacillating between a few, this may be the very exercise that reveals your true type.
Holding the mirror up to yourself can be vulnerable and feel scary, but looking lovingly, with kindness and compassion. There is no place for judgment.
If and when you slip back into thinking or believing there is a “cool” type or a “better” type than your own, go back and do the exercise again.
Pay attention and hold the mirror up to yourself.
Meredith is a Nashville native blogger & podcaster behind "The Other Half: Real Life That Doesn’t Make the Highlight Reel."