Whatever your relationship status, relationships can be consuming. Those who lack one fixate on getting one. Those who get one fixate on what it’s lacking.
When we face roadblocks within our relationships, it’s easy to focus outward, becoming mentally consumed by the things we have no power over. But what if we were challenged to not only look inward, but also to look upward? What if looking upward could actually change our outward relationships?
Prayer is the act by which we mentally hand over our problems, concerns, fears, desires and dreams to Him who has the power to control what we can’t. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the things you can’t seem to change about your love life (or lack thereof), consider a few ways that you can both mentally and prayerfully give those things to the One who can actually do something about them.
Pray that He would grant you patience, even as you pour out your desires to Him (Matthew 7:7; Isaiah 40:31). Sometimes, it’s our own fears and doubts that keep us from really bringing our hearts to God. What if He doesn’t listen? What if He doesn’t answer? Or worse yet, what if He doesn’t care?
Yet throughout Scripture, we are reminded we serve a loving God who cares for us far more than we could ever comprehend and who longs for us to bring our requests before Him. As long as our hearts are aligned with His, there are no limits to what we can ask.
What are your deepest needs and desires? Let Him know. Whatever you’re praying for, the key is to simply ask—and then to trust Him with those requests.
Trusting God is not always easy, because it requires patience—and the very act of patience reminds us we are not in control. But even through the time of waiting, God can change you, nourish you and fill you so you are empowered and prepared to take the next steps when the timing is right. Ask Him for that, and expect to see Him at work in your life.
Pray that He would make you (and keep you) ready for relationship (Colossians 3:12-14; 1 John 1:9). Do we ever consider that in order for God to change our relationship situation, He has to first change us? Rather than simply longing to be loved, it’s important for us to really learn how to love.
Whether you are in need of freedom from the baggage of your past or the sins and habits of your present, ask God to open your eyes and help you recognize the things you might not see for yourself. Ask Him to empower you to move from what’s good into what’s best. When your heart is prepared to love and edify others the way you were meant to, your relationships will be enriched and transformed.
Pray He would be the focus, no matter what the status of your relationship (Psalm 37:4). Rather than be so consumed with what we want Him to give us, what would happen if we asked God to give us more of Himself? May we continue to bring this request before God, so He can turn our hearts to Him as our greatest delight and desire. No matter what is happening in our lives, this perspective has the power to change everything.
Maybe it’s time to actually do some real work in the area of our love life and relationships instead of wasting our time worrying. Maybe it’s time to pray.
is a Licensed Professional Counselor, relationship expert, national speaker, and author of the book True Love Dates. Her newest book for singles and couples, Choosing Marriage, is available for pre-order and set to be released this Spring. Debra is also the creator of the popular relationship advice blog, www.TrueLoveDates.com, reaching millions of people with the message that healthy people make healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook or Twitter!