In a society where everything seems to revolve around finding the love of your life and updating your relationship status on Facebook, it can be challenging to feel content in a season of singleness. But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible.
Contentment is all about a shift in your perspective—a daily decision to trust God in all circumstances and to see Him at work in every chapter of your life. Here are a few keys to contentment during a season of singleness:
Cultivate a Heart of Gratitude
Your praise and thanksgiving is a powerful weapon. Instead of focusing on what you lack, remember and acknowledge all that you have. By doing so, you can fight those feelings of discouragement and give God the opportunity to remind you of His favor and many blessings.
Singleness is not God’s way of depriving you or punishing you. Don’t get so caught up in hoping and searching for a significant other that you forget about all the blessings God has given you—in other important relationships in your life, in the talents He’s given you, even in whatever freedoms you are able to enjoy as a single person. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, it says that we should “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Invest in Your Family/Friend Relationships
Cherish every moment, conversation and experience with the people you love. Although family and friends will always be a part of your life, relationship dynamics change when that “special someone” enters the scene. As a single, you have the ability to dedicate your time and primary focus to nurturing these family and friend relationships. By looking beyond our own personal gratification, our vision is cleared and our awareness of others’ needs increases.
Pursue Your God-Given Dreams
Regardless of your relationship status, go after your goals, dreams and God-given aspirations. Do not wait! One of the biggest mistakes singles often make is waiting to chase their dreams until they have someone to do so with them. In doing so, they miss out on the wonderful things this season has to offer.
Don’t put your ambitions and passions on hold until you find someone. Rather, as you dedicate your time and energy to fulfilling God’s call on your life, He will bless you with a teammate along the way—someone who will support your endeavors and challenge you to become all that you can be.
Maintain High Standards
The longer you’re single, the more tempting it can be to just date whoever expresses interest, even if you know you’re not compatible. Don’t settle for second best or get caught up in the wrong relationships out of desperation. Obviously, there’s no perfect person who will meet every one of your expectations, but you shouldn’t compromise your core standards.
Keep Up Spiritual Practices
Regardless of your relationship status, things like prayer, time in the Word and journaling are important for keeping your spiritual life healthy. Prayer not only brings you peace, but it reminds you of who is in control. We often take this responsibility upon ourselves as though we have the capability to orchestrate every tiny detail of our lives. However, the truth of the matter is God has asked us to surrender our plans to Him—trusting that He knows best.
Instead of spending your time worrying, dive into Scripture and allow God’s Word to replenish your soul. I like to think of God and His words as the ultimate power source. When we plug into this power source, we receive His joy, strength and wisdom.
In a season of singleness, it is easy to doubt God, especially when we can’t see the big picture. It can be tempting to think that it’s your responsibility to go out and find someone. But as you practice patience, be encouraged and know that as you wait and seek God, He is working behind the scenes and orchestrating your larger story. He is shaping you and maturing you into the man or woman He has called you to be. If God knit you together in your mother’s womb, then He must understand you better than anyone else. Do you trust Him with your future? Do you believe He knows not only what is best for you, but the timing in which it will all pan out?
Encourage and Serve Others
During this season, God has given you tasks and responsibilities to serve and provide lasting hope to those in need. Whether serving on the mission field, on your school and church campus or in your local community, you have a unique purpose and contribution to society. Every act of kindness, loving embrace or word of encouragement makes a difference in the global community. Changing the world begins with you.
God’s plan for your life is beyond anything you could ever dream up on your own, and His plan for you doesn’t begin or end with you finding a spouse. Let Him turn your worries and anxieties into contentment for the present and great excitement and anticipation for what lays ahead. Give God the pen and let Him write your story. It is going to be amazing.
Erin-Rae Donaldson is currently studying communications at Evangel University with plans to attend Oral Roberts University directly following graduation to pursue an MBA in nonprofit management. Whether leading humanitarian efforts, writing about relationships or speaking to congregations, Erin-Rae hopes to communicate the message of God's love and encourage others to put their compassion into action. In her spare time she enjoys writing, traveling and watching movies. She blogs at relectionsbyerinrae.blogspot.com.