There I sat, with the man of my dreams across the room. Then, to my horror, he threw this awful ring at me saying, “So, ya wanna?” I responded, “Uh, no.” This was the most horrible nightmare I can remember. To explain, I regularly dream peculiar yet vivid scenarios like this one. That afternoon, I told a group of my friends about this dream. Unexpectedly, one guy friend argued with me for an hour over the inappropriateness of ever saying “no” to a proposal. Most girls would agree that something that tacky and insincere deserves a denial. However, he believed that if a guy actually did propose, then a girl ought to accept, relationship withstanding. Justifiably, women hold to a standard in their expectations—reasonable expectations—of the big question. Have no fear men; that standard is much easier to attain than you may think.
As I forge through this great passage known as the twentysomethings, I have heard about dozens of proposals and even helped execute a handful. As wedding season closes and hunting season—I mean proposal season, begins—allow me to give some basic instruction on how to propose and receive the desired response.
To begin, glance over a few examples of creative and successful proposals: the reading of Proverbs 31 with a ring in hand, an extravagant scavenger hunt, kayaking to a surprise destination, mountain climbing to the highest point, sailing off of her favorite island, a memory box with a gift inside, serenading her with an original song on a park bench … the list can go on and on.
Know the relationship. Is this forever? Are you ready for the responsibility that comes with commitment: financially, spiritually and emotionally? Do you have a similar geographical location, vision for the future, and life situation? Do you value the same things or can each partner appreciate the things that other partner values? Do you have genuine trust stemming from candid and open honesty? Have you asked each other the difficult questions? We all fear asking about each other’s sexual history, financial standing, calling, life’s desires, expectations, where to attend church, where to go on holidays, family traditions, what brands of household products to use, how to raise children, whether to have children and exactly how many kids you want. Assess your accountability within and without in the relationship. Take into account how your family and intimate friends feel about this relationship. Do you worship and pray in private and in public? Are you in love? If your relationship is not ready to move on to the next level, postpone your proposal plans.
Know your girl. Take your opportunity to show your beloved how much you love her by how well you know her. Render this woman that you intend to make your bride as the most exceptional and amazing woman you have ever met. Consequentially, what you do and say go hand in hand. Take confidence in the fact that she also knows you too. If you are not typically a zealous romantic, she is not expecting something dramatic.
Consider the ring, even whether or not there needs to be a ring. Some girls have a family heirloom they intend to wear. Would she want something classic or unique? How big should the diamond be? Investigate the different cuts of diamonds. Would she prefer a silver, gold or platinum band? Buy a ring can you afford.
Once you find a ring, begin planning the day’s activities. Reflect on the things that make her happy, satisfied and confident. Would she want to be with a lot of people or rather have a more intimate moment? Would she prefer to be dressed up or in jeans and a T-shirt? Is she going to want a picture of this moment? Determine if this is going to be an all day affair. What time of day should you pop the question? Will she want to call people immediately? Does she like surprises? Would she like you to propose on a day that is already significant or create a brand new one? Is she traditional? If so, ask her dad and get down on one knee. Interestingly, two of my male friends believe that asking a father’s permission is archaic and a sign that the woman is “property.” Know what is and is not appropriate. Women radiate when they explain to others “how he did it.” Keep in mind that the story is significant to who you are as a couple and why you fell in love.
Be Prepared (if necessary.) A spontaneous mate might prefer an unplanned proposal. First order of preparation: Pray and seek wise counsel. Then, make a list of the things you will need like flowers, music, props, people, phone, etc. Furthermore, be prepared for the season of engagement. Engagement consumes your time by nurturing the relationships with the in-laws, planning the wedding, registering, attending showers and preparing for marriage. Protect yourselves from the increased temptations and stress. Rejoice that that engagement is only a season.
Chill Out. She will not say no … Women plan the wedding as a token of the level of commitment they have in their relationship. Seize this moment to convey your intentions in the relationship and expresses how you feel. Regardless of how simple or elaborate or silly or charming your plan becomes, as long as you ask “the” question, you have successfully proposed. Being united together forever in the presence of God should motivate you to stay pure and keep things in perspective. Happy hunting … I mean, proposing.
READ MORE LIFE | POST COMMENTS BELOW