Our Adoption

Somewhere in the state of Texas, there is a girl that will be coming into our home. I have no idea what she looks like or even what her name is. But I’m adopting her.

Whoever and wherever she is, the odds are against her. Because she is a ward of the state, the parental rights of her birth parents have been terminated for cause. Neglect, drug use and physical and sexual abuse are common reasons.

Don’t think I’m doing something wonderful by rescuing her, because this isn’t particularly wonderful. One of the most amazing things about her is that she wants nothing more than to go home to her mother and her father. She doesn’t know any better. She has never known love or compassion or stability. But she wants to go home. Back into the living hell that was her life. Not because it’s good, but because it’s what she knows.

The odds are that despite being adopted, she will suffer from promiscuity and bear her own child before the age of 18 and continue the cycle. And I will still bring her into my home. I won’t try to fix her because that is beyond me. I will just bring her into my home.

I trust in God in this. I’m not even asking Him to fix her. Whether she is ever free from the burdens of her past or not, I’m trusting God that He knows this is the right thing to do. If He wants her in my home, then she will come into my home.

That home includes a 3-year-old daughter who is the essence of light and joy. Her trust and her love are amazing. And into her world of safety and light will come someone new. Someone who, like a second child, will test the boundaries of her known world where she was the one and only center of attention. Someone who will become a big sister for her and, like all little sisters, someone she will try hard to impress by emulating.

How many of us have a profound desire to bring such a role model into our homes? I know that I don’t. But I can’t help it, because God has called me. And I trust Him. I trust Him not just with my life but with the life of the little bundle of light and joy that is my daughter.

Don’t think I’m doing something wonderful, because right now, this is hard. I’m not exactly embracing the cross; I’m dragging my heels and often telling God that I’m not the one. But He is unrelenting. This isn’t wonderful; this is hard.

But it is amazing as well. As my wife and I have gone through the process, I have come to understand more about how much Christ loves me. I have a great job, a nice house, a beautiful wife, good friends. I pay my bills mostly on time. I tithe. I go to Sunday school and church. I look for opportunities to serve. I look good to myself. But like this girl who is coming into my home, I just don’t know any better. From God’s perspective, my life is just as broken as hers. And God brought me into His home not knowing if I would ever be fixed or not. Not knowing if I would accept the healing and the love that is available to me.

What I’m hoping is that just one other of you is called. I’m hoping that just one of you can accept brokenness as it is and love it without ever knowing whether it will be made whole.

See Also

RELATED LINKS:

BROKEN, BODY AND SOUL

DROWNING IN JENNIE’S RIVER

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