Man Creates a Pumpkin Boat … Because Why Not?

In a move that sounds plucked straight from an Onion headline, a man has paddled an 817-pound pumpkin boat down the river in Easton, Massachusetts, breaking the Guinness World Record for longest trip in a pumpkin boat along the way. (Naturally.)

The Gourd boat captain, Todd Sandstrum, says he made the 3.5 mile trip to raise awareness for agriculture. And that his sacrifice came at a great personal cost. “I’m still in awe of the amount of pain that I pushed through to get it done,” he told Enterprise News.

So there you have it, kids. Both agriculture and the great pumpkin exist. Just don’t tell Charlie Brown and Linus about the death of their beloved Halloween hero.

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