American Hero Chases Off Burglars With a Machete

We don’t throw the word “hero” around lightly at RELEVANT. Well, that may not be totally true, but it feels true. In any case, we’re going to throw the word “hero” around a little here. Or, more accurately, we’re going to brandish it like a mighty saber, holding our foes at bay until the proper authorities arrive. We are, in other words, going to use it like this homeowner used his machete to chase off a bunch of crooks who tried to break into his home.

The hero in question is from Florida (where else?) and was apparently minding his own business when a couple of burglars broke in with a shotgun. The man—who truly knows no fear—first attempts to go after them with a two-by-four. The burglars clearly think they’ve got the upper hand (there’s a shotgun, remember), and are undeterred. But then our hero goes from 0 to a million, and lets these burglars know that if you swim with sharks, you’re gonna get bit.

The homeowner comes flying out of nowhere with a machete, swinging it like a man possessed by righteous vengeance. The video has no sound, but you can nevertheless almost hear the blade sing with freedom in each slice. The burglars aren’t idiots, and they immediately flee, but not before the homeowner nabbed one and held onto him until the police arrived. Cops were eventually able to round up of the burglars, who learned a valuable lesson about breaking into Florida homes. You never know when the resident will be armed with a machete and a heart of purest steel.

Scroll To Top