Nothing would make Satan happier than putting God’s army out of commission by convincing us to let him take our will to live, laugh, be glad, work and love. Despair isn’t something we simply “snap out of.” However, it is a battle we can fight, emotionally and spiritually. Attacking our minds, Satan turns our souls into a battle ground. The temptation is to completely turn to ourselves, thinking we must either win the fight alone or fall, exhausted, in silence.
Often when we turn to God for answers about these matters of the soul, we end up with more questions than we started with. Even Jesus disciples, the ones who walked and ate with God, who felt Love’s breath on their cheeks – even they were often confused. And yet, even in this confusion, He is the only trustworthy one, the only one to whom we can turn. It’s a child-like faith.
While He may not provide all the answers, He does not leave us to struggle alone. He struggles with us.
In John 6, Jesus asked a penetrating question in the face of His friends doubt: “You don’t want to leave me, too, do you?” In other words, “Are you finished with me, ready to go look for a Messiah who punishes those who cause you pain, who proves you right instead of asking you hard questions, who gives you the answers you seek and makes your problems go away? Have you lost the will to follow my confusing footsteps, to give up your dreams and let God dream through you instead?”
Peter’s answer was a as raw as the question: “Lord, whom shall we go?” Another way of saying, “We’d go look if we thought there were anyone else, but there isn’t. Only you have the words of eternal life. You are all we have.”
And He is.
We should want to be like Peter, clinging to the truth even in doubt. Let’s follow Him, even two across. Let’s let go of our hearts and lay them in His hands without demanding guarantees.
If we choose God, we choose life. And anything other than God is death.
Read Psalm 118:8, Matthew 10:39 and John 10:10. Are you sensing to spare? Remove your masks. Be honest with your heart. Where are you sensing pain? Sit down with your wounds, pull out a journal and talk to God about them. He will be listening.
Lord, where else can we go? You are all we have. You are all we need.