Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you. (Psalm 63:3)
In The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis says, “He who has God and everything else has no more than he who has God only.” Do I believe that? Do I believe an encounter with God is truly better than life itself? Throughout the Psalms, we see that David prayed as if he believed it … but do I?
Do I truly agree it is a good thing for God to be more committed to my pleasure than to my pleasantness? Do I believe there is the possibility of a deeper joy than getting what I think I want at the moment? The possibility of a deeper pleasure than every dream I presently have coming true? The possibility of a deeper desire than for my life, as it is, to work well?
To be honest, I am not sure if I agree or not. I kind of like getting what I want. I am pretty partial to dreams coming true, and I am very committed to making my life work well. Sometimes I want a hamburger more than I want God. I am finding I am addicted to many lesser pleasures. But I want to move past these lesser things. I want to want God.
I don’t believe there is a sure-fire heavenly thermometer to test my level of desire for God or measure my degree of faith in God. I have performed far too many spiritual disciplines with a disengaged heart to believe that. There is one experience, though, that at least gives me a clue to the bent of my heart for God. This experience is worship. Do I stand in awe of God’s glory even when it is shrouded in mystery? Am I humbled by the magnitude of God even when my questions—and His seeming unwillingness to answer them—clamor for my attention? Do I bring all that I am to Him—my brokenness, my sinfulness, my crusty heart, my boredom—in worship because I believe that in Him I find life? As John Piper says, “What we hunger for most, we worship.”
I am choosing to be hungry for God. I am choosing to be a worshipper.
Lord, make me hungry for You and Your word. I want Your presence more than anything this world can offer me.