I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
—Galatians 2:20 (TNIV)
This is the journey.
In the last few months I have increasingly felt the hand of God upon my life. It is heavy; it is hard, and it is not an easy thing.
God is imposing His will upon my life, and all I can do is sit back and say, “Yes, Lord.”
Of course, this is exactly what I’ve prayed for. Night and day I have come before Him to ask that He would allow His Kingdom to come and His will to be done in my life … no matter what.
My wife and I have been through these times of transition before. Several years ago I was laid off from a job I loved, only to wander in the wilderness for over a year and a half without full-time employment. During this period I learned literally what it means to depend on Him for daily bread.
Once, when we had used the last of the eggs, paper towels and milk, someone showed up at our doorstep unexpectedly with eggs, milk and paper towels in a gift basket.
Another time we needed over a thousand dollars to cover rent, registration and our monthly medical insurance payment. While driving to my temp job I prayed desperately for God’s provision to cover the lack; our bank account was empty, and we had used our Discover card to pay for groceries only days before.
By lunchtime I had tears in my eyes, and a check in my hand for exactly the amount necessary to cover all of these bills, from people who had no idea what our exact needs were at the time.
God proved his goodness once again during a tense time when we were forced to move from our home, with no idea where we’d end up. God miraculously provided a house for us only a few blocks away with a giant backyard, an avocado tree and plenty of room to host a small group for our new church. He had even given us a dream a month earlier to show us how He would provide this house for us, and then He did it … at the last minute.
God is good.
I think now our family knows in a deeper sense that God will take care of us. We have seen His hand closing doors in our life and in our ministry over these last few months. We’ve started packing up our belongings, with no clue where we’re moving to next, or even when.
God has been closing doors on ministries that have thrived for the last three years. He’s called dear friends to move hundreds of miles away from us.
We’ve heard the sound of doors closing all around us. We wonder when we will hear the sound of doors opening again.
We don’t really understand exactly all of what and why God is doing this.
But we do know a lot.
We do know that God is good. We know that He loves us. We know that it is His hand closing these doors. We know that He will open new doors for us soon. We know that we are called to be His ambassadors. We know that our family has a calling from God. We know that He has given us a ministry, and He has revealed to us what we are to do next: Simply trust Him.
We also know that God seems to like the last minute. He’s never late, but He’s rarely on our time table.
I was thinking just the other day that in seasons like this we build our faith. Eventually, we look back on these times and see the hand of God upon us. We will be drawn back to these times to re-live them over and over again in the form of testimony and praise.
Why would we not want God to bring us through times such as this?
This is the life.
This is the journey.