True story. A 22-year-old Korean girl graduates college, moves to a foreign city, bunks with a 60-year-old, lives off of Cheez-Its and egg salad, and is commonly mistaken for attending the local high school. Oh, and she works here at Relevant, a male dominated workforce where people communicate via Instant Messenger as opposed to actually talking to the person less than six feet in front of them. And yes, the “she” is me: Kimi. The newbie Relevant intern.
Yes, I was that college grad whose game plan read “not available at this time” after walking across that stage. My name went from Kimi to, “So what are you doing now?” I don’t think it’s a secret to say life after college is intimidating. Pressure to give a detailed itinerary for the next six months of my life was in high demand. But, instead of losing my cool or making up some juicy story of how I landed a spot as an extra in The O.C., I had no choice but to stay focused on the fact that yes, God did have a plan for me and the limbo I was currently living, between the after-college/before-career stage, was all a part of the big picture.
My continuous downfall was slipping into that unfortunate mentality of comparisons. I couldn’t help but size myself up next to friends, roommates and classmates; anyone who was generally breathing between the ages of 18 and 22, I was comparing myself to them. Of course I realized how ridiculous I was being when I found myself wondering why I didn’t have two kids and a husband right after high school. I assure you God’s good humor drew me back to the plain reality that I was walking a unique path assigned solely for me and to play ignorant or ungrateful would be a disgrace to the one who designed it all.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) This verse became my constant focal point, that confident, knowing voice that overshadowed those relentless waves of fear and doubt.
After feeling like I had finally grasped peace of mind over the current status of my life, God threw me a sweet curve ball. I was four months out of college, working at Starbucks and living by myself in Maryland. Familiar with Relevant’s online magazine, I noticed they were looking for interns. On a complete whim and the “I have nothing to lose” attitude, I contacted an editorial staffer and asked for further information on what they were looking for. Incidentally, they were making final intern decisions that week. Days later, I participated in a phone interview that consisted of questions like: Have you ever had anything published? No. Have you ever done any freelance writing? Um, no. Have you ever done an internship? Um, yeah, no. After I hung up the phone I actually said out loud to myself: “Okay, so you didn’t get that job.” But I realized, no matter what level of talent or experience I had, God was going to put me exactly where He wanted me. And God wanted me at Relevant.
I worked at Starbucks throughout the summer while making appropriate preparations to change my fall residence from Maryland to Florida. By God’s good orchestration, everything fell into place perfectly. I know I’m supposed to be here. Frankly, I don’t entertain wishful thoughts of being home because to sincerely dream I was somewhere else subtracts the wonder of God’s unfolding plan for me.
It’s good to know I’m doing exactly what God wants me to do at this point in my life; I’m in the hands of His good mercy. Living this testament of His detailed arrangement encourages me to believe I can go anywhere and do anything as long as I’m receptive to His voice. Inevitably I’ll fall and like Peter, only see myself drowning instead of focusing on Him. And when that happens I can only hope I am transported directly to this experience where God prepared this place for me; predestined stepping-stones to a continuous unraveling mystery.[Kimi continues to be in awe of how God works all things for His good. She also thinks Relevant is cool, but could do without the hurricanes.]