Many of us have been told that we will grow up and be just like our parents. I have denied that claim many times, but one characteristic from my mom that I have embodied has been the tendency to worry. I try not to. I try to have faith and trust in God but I find myself being the recipient of Jesus’ words “Oh ye of little faith.” I struggle with not being able to control the situation. My human mind is limited in the solutions to a problem but God has infinite solutions and resources, and I fail to see this. And so I worry. I’m also impatient. Not a great combination to have.
As a graduate student, I have been wrestling with the worries of finding a job upon graduation. As part of my studies, I have to participate in an international service project this summer. Lately, I’ve been wondering if this project will fall through. Will I have a place to live and what exactly will I do? Will it come crashing down at the last minute? I’ve been worried but God seems to have this under control.
I traveled to New Orleans recently for a student conference, and on the way back to the hotel one night, I found myself sitting on the bus and beginning to worry about these things. I had made it a goal to not think about these things; to “let go and let God” as the saying goes. However, I found the worrying creeping in. I tried to recite the verses in Matthew 6 where Jesus tells us not to worry but to seek the kingdom first–but to no avail. As I always do when I travel to new cities, I stare out the window and observe the city. As my mind continued to race, I looked out the window on my left. And that’s when God spoke. In the lane beside us, a car sped up to pass our bus. As I looked down at the car, I noticed written on the back bumper was the word faith. It was in that moment that God spoke to me and reminded me to have faith. The car didn’t have my road map displayed on it but that one word brought a sense of peace. God knew what I needed and He was using that car to tell me that. “I’ll take care of you. Just have faith.”
I will still struggle with being patient and worrying about my next steps. But if God can use a car to send a message, then certainly He can use me. It is in those times of darkest need that He reassures us. I may not wake up tomorrow and have everything planned out but I do know that God has everything planned out for me. Those plans are far greater than anything I could dream of. Stepping out into the unknown is an integral part of faith. It is part of the journey. Maybe it is fitting that a car delivered this message. The driver was on a journey somewhere and the excitement of following Christ is the journey He will lead us on. All I have to do is follow. If I need directions, I can look to my right and He will be there. I can look in front of me and He will be there. I can look out a bus window and God will be there.