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A Web of Lies! Investigation Shows Flossing Doesn’t Even Work

Just when you thought political scandals couldn’t get any bigger, a bombshell has dropped that will shake your confidence in everything you THOUGHT you knew about how the world works: The government may have been lying to us about the effectiveness of floss for decades.

Honestly, this is a weird story. Here goes: Last year, the enterprising investigative journalists at the Associated Press filed a Freedom of Information Act request, demanding that the government show its evidence that flossing actually does anything. For more than 30 years, the federal government—along with dental organizations and Big Floss—have been recommending flossing regularly, saying it keeps your teeth and gums healthy.

Then, things got strange. Shortly after, the government removed flossing from its health guidelines without any notice. According to the AP, when they asked about “the government acknowledged the effectiveness of flossing had never been researched, as required.”

The AP then decided to do its own research: Their findings: “The evidence for flossing is ‘weak, very unreliable,’ of ‘very low’ quality, and carries ‘a moderate to large potential for bias.’” The AP then found major holes in pro-floss studies done by dental organizations, and, of course, the makers of floss themselves.

Though there may be some benefits, the AP report contains this line:

Floss can occasionally cause harm. Careless flossing can damage gums, teeth and dental work. Though frequency is unclear, floss can dislodge bad bacteria that invade the bloodstream and cause dangerous infections, especially in people with weak immunity.

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What?! There are risks to flossing?

Trust no one.

For all these years you’ve been pointlessly sticking a string between your teeth only to get scolded by some misinformed dentist about how you’re not doing it enough. Wake up, sheeple!

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