The New French Fry Fork at McDonald’s Is a Disgrace to French Fries and Forks

McDonald’s is bad at a lot of things, but one thing they are not bad at is french fries. Admittedly, it’s hard to mess up deep frying potato spears and then running them through a salt lick. That is the sort of food prep that nobody can mess up, right? Wrong, because McDonald’s is debuting a brand-new invention that manages to suck the fun out of eating french fries. “Impossible,” you say? Behold, the Frork

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltxLeLGozDk

This thing is amazingly stupid, so McDonald’s deserves some credit for fully admitting that it’s stupid in the video. But it doesn’t deserve too much credit because (a) McDonald’s is still making the thing, so they must not think it’s that stupid (although it is) and (b) this video doesn’t own up to how stupid the Frork is.

First of all, the frork does not work. Even in the video, in which they presumably had time to do multiple takes and perhaps even use the magic of CGI, the model using the frork could not actually get it to work. It just sort of slathers the sauce over the plate. Speaking of, did you notice how, in the video, the McDonald’s sandwiches are being served on reclaimed wooden serving boards that appear to be leftover props from some Lord of the Rings dinner scene? Maybe if you weren’t buying all your plates for $399.99 a pop from West Elm you’d be able to afford a real fork that actually works, you coconut.

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Second, if you’re looking to suck any possible joy out of the french fry-eating experience, there is no faster way than to stuff them into a little red tube (the frork) so that you can slurp them out like a maniac. The video notes that the frork even works “in the dark” which is good, because nobody should have to watch you trying to shovel french fries down your gullet with a frork. Eat your french fries with your fingers by the light of the sun in front of man and beast alike and then lick the salt from your fingers, as God intended.

In closing, never use the frork.

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