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Sum of All Fears: America Is Facing a Critical Clown Shortage

According to this fine piece of investigative reporting by the New York Daily News, America is currently facing an unthinkable disaster: a clown shortage. They found that, “Membership at the country’s largest trade organizations for the jokesters has plunged over the past decade as declining interest, old age and higher standards among employers align against Krusty, Bozo and their crimson-nosed colleagues.” One startling revelation from the report found that out of 531 applicants to Ringling Bros. Clown College, just 11 were even good enough for jobs at the circus. Membership in organizations like the World Clown Association, once a thriving clown-focused leadership group, has plummeted. A clown by the name of Cido explained to the paper, “American kids these days are thinking about different careers altogether. They’re thinking about everything other than clowning.” Cido then shed a single tear …

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