Don’t Go Into the Water Ever

Life is short, and if you go into the ocean, you are risking making it a whole lot shorter. We just don’t know enough about the ocean to risk going into it. For example, yesterday, someone found this eyeball on the beach. And as to what gargantuan sea creature might be missing this eye, nobody knows. All we know is that a giant sea monster is swimming around off the Florida coast, and that it’s angry. Let’s all spend the weekend on the land. Where we belong …

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