CIA Retires a Dog Because She’s Understandably More Interested In Playtime Than Finding Bombs

The CIA. It’s not for everyone. The high-stress lifestyle of a CIA operative requires you to have the heart of a warrior, the mind of a genius and the spine of a rhinoceros.

Not being cut out for the job is no failure—it simply means you have strengths in other areas like, say, naps, treats and playtime. That’s the case for a black lab named Lulu anyway, who was recruited into one of the toughest jobs in the dog industry and, as fate would have it, was given an early retirement because her interests lie in other areas, as the CIA explained in a Twitter thread.

See Also

So what now? Well, when a CIA operative is retired, as we all know, their memories are wiped and they are cut loose from the organization, until they start remembering what they went through at Treadstone and then embark on a mission of vengeance to get back at the suits who did this to them. The case is a little different for dogs.

Awww, everyone wins. Except for the CIA, who is now down one very adorable operative. But Lulu wins, and that means we all sort of win. Enjoy your retirement, Lulu.

Scroll To Top