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Breaking: Americans Wearing Clothes Made in China

So, it turns out that the uniforms that the US athletes will be wearing during the opening ceremony were made in China. Lawmakers are pitching a fit, led by Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev) who said, reasonably, “they should take all the uniforms, put them in a big pile and burn them.” In a rare moment of solidarity, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) agreed with Senator Reid, saying of Ralph Lauren, who designed the outfits, “You think they’d know better.” So, it’s nice to see them getting along. The only people not to freak out were, ironically, the athletes themselves. “It’s a global world we live in,” Olympic beach volleyball player Todd Rogers said. “I would say there are much bigger issues to worry about than where Ralph Lauren has the opening ceremonies clothes made.” Uh, “bigger issues?” Come on, Todd. Get with the program …

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