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Evaluation

I don’t know how I’ve made it to March without blogging, but today is kind of a quiet day so here we go! You should probably be pretty excited about this.

This is all something that has been on my heart lately; I think we all go through phases and while this is a common topic in the church today, it’s also something I’ve been thinking a lot about.

I love words. I mean, obviously, or I probably wouldn’t be an editorial intern at a magazine. But words have the power to express feelings, evoke emotion and inspire change. A friend of mine said that she “collects quotes,” and I fell in love with that phrase. I love that everyone has something to say and that words can affect people.

In a long list of my favorite quotes, one that has been particularly relevant to my life of late comes from the introductory chapter to Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller. It says:

“Years ago God was a swinging speck in the distance. Now he is close enough I can hear his singing. Soon I will see the lines on his face.”

Something about the imagery that evokes really speaks to me. That our whole life is not about knowing God but coming to know him; his personality and being and not just laws and precepts and words.

Life isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about getting them. There’s a difference between being firm in your belief and just being closed-minded. We have to leave room for our beliefs to develop; not necessarily change, just gain perspective.

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When we (I) stop thinking of the Bible as a crusty irrelevant book and start realizing that it is inspired words of wisdom rich in history; When we stop trying to put God into a box of prepackaged religion and let him be the awesome, terrifying, dynamic God that he is; when we start to formulate our own questions and challenge our own doubts; it is then that we draw closer to God, closer to the day we’ll “see the lines on his face.”

It’s OK to question, to struggle and evaluate; it’s even OK to doubt, as long as it doesn’t stop there. We have to wrestle with our faith. We have to ask for a new name. Struggles make us strong. And at some point, when we’re figuring through everything we believe and everything we should, we realize we’re not grappling with ourselves but with God; and anyone who comes back from that will not come back unchanged.

Faith is being refined and redefined. We’re all seeking.

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