We live in a confusing world full of things that don’t make sense. Pete Davidson dating Kim Kardashian. The final Game of Thrones season. The Masked Singer in general. It can be difficult to wrap your head around the machinations of the Entertainment Industrial Complex and, often, unnecessary. There’s no reason to worry too much about why Lena Dunham is working on a Polly Pocket movie. It doesn’t make sense, that’s OK. Not everything does.
But that doesn’t mean we should just go on, letting things not make sense. We should strive to bring more order to the world by doing things that do make sense. And one thing that makes total sense is casting Chris Pratt as the voice of Larry in the inevitable Veggie Tales reboot. This is so obviously the right thing to do that it’s almost embarrassing we have to bring it up. But since nobody else has, we will stand in the gap.
Pratt, of course, has been getting a lot of attention for his character acting. After making waves in The LEGO Movie franchise, he’s started to spread his talents to even more valuable IP like Mario and Garfield. Those don’t necessarily make a lot of sense, since one is an Italian plumber and the other is a lazy cat, neither of which seem especially Pratt-esque in energy, but that’s as it may be. Larry the Cucumber is the correct vehicle for Pratt’s particular talents.
In the series, Larry is the somewhat brainless but generally big-hearted cucumber who is singing silly songs and cosplaying as superheroes when he’s not learning valuable life lessons on the beloved animated series about talking vegetables who teach kids about the Bible (even though they can’t actually become Christians). He became the face of the series, its most recognizable star, and Pratt is the clear choice for bringing him to a new generation.
Now, true Veggie Tales fans (Vegheads) might contend that Phil Vischer, both the creator of Veggie Tales and once the voice of Larry the Cucumber, deserves better than being replaced by a Hollywood elitist like Pratt. Obviously, there is no filling these shoes when it comes to Larry. Vischer is a singular talent and his voice acting abilities can’t be replaced by Pratt or anyone else. But given the Hollywood machine these days, there is simply no getting a good idea off the ground unless you’ve got some a-list talent attached to it. We’re no happier about it than anyone else is but for a project of this magnitude to work, we need a bonafide celebrity and of tinsel town’s current crop of A-list names, Pratt is the clear choice.
Pratt is also a Christian and, while we don’t want to be too presumptuous here, very likely familiar with the Veggie Tales exploits in the way his colleagues may not be. His lovable lunkhead persona honed on Parks and Rec and the Guardians of the Galaxy movies would map exquisitely onto Larry’s well-known characterization, updating him for a new era while staying true to his roots.
It makes sense. The choice is clear. Many things in the world are confusing, but this is not one. The time is ripe for a Veggie Tales reboot, and Chris Pratt is the man for the job.