Just When You Thought Your Ears Were Safe, Nickelback Announces a New Album

As a public service announcement, we at RELEVANT feel duty-bound to inform you that immensely popular “rock” band and human garbage disposal impersonators Nickelback have summoned whatever tepid muses they consult for what passes as “inspiration” to flush another album out into a world that never did them any wrong. This witch’s brew of complacency doesn’t have a title yet, but the first single is called “Edge of a Revolution.” It sounds like a rusty old Chevette crashing into a semi-truck full of goats, which is to say it sounds like every other Nickelback song. This particular jumble of junk riffs and drum splats has the benefit of frontman Chad Kroeger’s keen political insights, with lines like “What do we want? We want change! How we gonna get there? A revolution!” that make Black Eyed Peas sound like William Faulkner. We’ll have to deal with the rest of the album later this year …

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