To Contend With LL Cool J Is to Lose

A burglar in Los Angeles who attempted to commit the perfect crime by breaking into LL Cool J’s house learned the hard way that if you swim with LL Cool J, you will get LL Cool Jacked Up because he does not take kindly to strangers in his house. LA police got a call from the rapper’s daughter, Lil Cool J (not her actual name, unfortunately), who informed police that a burglar was in her house but her father had him on the ground, so if they wanted to swing by and take him to jail whenever it was convenient, that would be great. The would-be burglar had a few bruises, and he should be lucky that’s all he got—because word is, LL Cool J’s mama told him to knock him out …

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