The trailer for the upcoming Venom movie was released yesterday. It looks so, so bad. There’s all kinds of weird choices in this ad, plus a bunch of strange humor and some lines that make you question if a robot wrote the script in an attempt to disguise itself as a bad screenwriter.
Some more takeaways:
- To say that Tom Hardy’s accent in this trailer is “misguided” is the biggest understatement since the SBC said it might need to implement some changes. What a choice. He sounds like a Peaky Blinders character had too much to drink and started a Dropkick Murphys cover band.
- Oh, and take it from a pro reporter in relation to Eddie Brock: Reporters don’t ride motorcycles, thrive in danger or look like Tom Hardy. Tricky mode of believability to overcome.
- The duality of Tom Hardy fighting the symbiote is interesting, but in practice the manifestation of Venom is so, so weird. I mean, we suppose it technically looks like the comics, but it also looks a bit ridiculous onscreen in relation to human characters.
- Looks like we’re going to see a classic origin story in which the “hero” fights the dark version of himself. We had this in Iron Man, Thor, Ant-Man and even Black Panther to an extent. This is super old. There are tons of classic villains in the Spider-Man/Venom universe. Just give us Carnage or something already.
- Venom saying “turd” is a thing we all have to live with now.
The movie’s out Oct. 5. That’s a thing we just kind of have to write for the heck of it.
