Disney's ongoing mission to update all its classics for today's teens scored a major coup today by snagging Emma "Hermione" Watson as the lead for its upcoming live action Beauty & the Beast remake (which will feature songs from the 1991 animated original!). Bill Condon, who helmed a couple of the Twilight entries, will direct the movie, and that's about all we know right now, but what else do you need to know? Watson herself broke the news over Facebook, saying:

“I’m finally able to tell you … that I will be playing Belle in Disney’s new live-action ‘Beauty and the Beast’! It was such a big part of my growing up, it almost feels surreal that I’ll get to dance to ‘Be Our Guest’ and sing ‘Something There’. My six-year-old self is on the ceiling — heart bursting. Time to start some singing lessons. I can’t wait for you to see it.

Wait. Watson can sing too? Is there anything she can't do? Besides go into the West Wing? ... Discuss

According to reports from the region, more than 200 individuals were killed in the latest face-off between the Nigerian military and Boko Haram militants in the northern part of the country. The battle comes as Secretary of State John Kerry visited the capital city, urging officials to ensure that the nation’s upcoming elections will be peaceful and fair. Kerry visited with both candidates and told the leaders that the U.S. would offer more help in the fight against the brutal terrorist group if the democratic elections remained “credible, transparent and accountable.” Though many of the deaths in the latest attacks were Boko Haram fighters, according to The Guardian, the militants specifically targeted innocent civilians: “Survivors reported that the rebels rampaged through villages slitting throats of residents, looting and burning homes and abducting dozens of trapped women and children” ... Discuss

Lars Andersen thinks all of these Hunger Games and Robin Hood blockbusters have ruin the reputation of historical archery, and he’s put together this bonkers video to prove his point. Not only did old-school archers not use back-pack quivers and stand while gracefully aiming at some lame bull's eye, they were actually horseback-riding ninjas who could have blasted three orcs at once if they wanted to. In this crazy YouTube clip, Andersen splits incoming arrows, shoots mid-air targets while jumping across obstacles and, most breathtakingly, demonstrates moving shooting by strapping on a pair of roller-skates and actually making it look cool ... Discuss

In perhaps the saddest reminder possible that this is the final season of Parks and Rec and that production on the series has already officially wrapped, this image has surfaced. In it, a fan snapped a picture of Nick Offerman at Sundance, and he was no longer sporting the Ron Swanson stache the world had come to know and love. May humanity’s finest facial hair rest in peace. You were too magical for this world ... Discuss

Maybe you've heard, maybe you haven't, but RELEVANT actually has a podcast. If you're listening to it, you're definitely aware that it's worth your time. If you're not listening, well, we just don't know what to tell you. You'll come to your senses eventually. But starting this week, we're launching a new feature: Video Extracts. Basically, we'll take a few highlights from each podcast and post it on YouTube, to delight your eyes just as much as it already soothes your ears. We are hoping to move into all five senses eventually, but we're starting here. Enjoy ... Discuss

Kids these days. Getting cast in every movie. It's been 15 years since Bryan Singer's original X-Men suited up and now that X-Men: First Class and Days of Future Past have revitalized the franchise, the original team is getting recast. Specifically, Cyclops, Jean Grey and Storm (played by ancient geezers James Marsden, Famke Janssen and Halle Berry in the original) are going to be played by a trio of teenagers in 2016's X-Men: Apocalypse. Oh, teens. With their Ariana Grande and their Code Red: Mountain Dew. What superhero roles will they steal next?

The most famous of the bunch is your new Jean Grey, Game of Throne's Sophie Turner. Only slightly less high profile is the new Cyclops, played by Tye Sheridan, who made an excellent impression in Tree of Life and Mud. Finally, Storm will be played by Alexandra Shipp, rebounding nicely from her last stint in Lifetime's widely loathed Aaliyah biopic. So, Hollywood's most unbreakable rule holds true: If you're an actor who is in any way popular, you will eventually be cast as a superhero ... Discuss