World's Worst Person Punches a Little Girl to Get Her Beach Ball

Music festivals are notorious for dirtbag attendees who shove you to get to the front row of the concert, steal your parking spot and are generally just unpleasant to be around. But this guy, Conrad Slimak, has just put himself in the running for King of all Garbage Bags for his Lollapalooza shenanigans. According to police, Michelle Fiore was walking her 11-year-old daughter, who had just won a Lollapalooza-branded beach ball, through the park when Conrad Slimak (Conrad Slimak. It's like his parents knew) and three friends, all wearing Lolla's three-day passes, approached them and asked the girl for her beach ball. Fiore joked that it would "cost $50," which caused Slimak to go into full-on raging monster mode, saying, "I'm a college student. Does it look like I have money?" (well, yes, you have a three-day pass to Lollapalooza, so you do look like you have money, but anyway) at which point he punched the 11-year-old child in the stomach forcing her to drop her beach ball and running off with it. Fortunately, the cops were able to take Slimak off to jail to book him for battery and assault and forever brand him as the man who assaulted a child for a ball. Hope that beach ball was worth it, dude ...

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