17-year-old Austin Wierschke of Rhinelander, Wisconsin took home the top prize in Times Square yesterday for being the country's fastest texter. Gold medals, landing on Mars and now this; America is just on fire lately. This is actually Austin's second consecutive victory, which makes him sort of the Ryan Lochte of texting. Actually, a little better than Ryan Lochte, because Austin has the right idea. The winner of the LG Texting Championship takes home a $50,000 reward, fully double the top prize for a gold medal Olympian. If Olympians just took all the time they spent forging their bodies into machines and would work on texting, they'd be in a lot better financial shape than they are. Time to rethink your lives, gold medal athletes ...