Read the List of Words Added to the Oxford Dictionary and Weep for Humanity

Every three months, the prestigious Oxford University Press—a longstanding authority on the English language—updates the Oxford Dictionary to more accurately reflect contemporary linguistic trends. The soul-crushing list of new words may make you want to learn a second language. In addition to unfortunate terms like “double denim”, “fauxhawk” and “food baby” (defined as “a protruding stomach caused by eating a large quantity of food and supposedly resembling that of a woman in the early stages of pregnancy.”), “jorts”, “selfie”, and the Pinterest-inspired “cake pop” also made the list. When future linguist look back for signs of the intellectual decline of the English-speaking world, the addition of the word “twerk” to the Oxford Dictionary (presumably accompanied by a picture of Miley Cyrus), will be their first clue that 2013 was the beginning of the end …

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