The Monopoly Boycott Begins

Get your protest gear ready. At midnight last night, the makers of the iconic board game Monopoly announced the results of an online vote to determine which of its tokens would be replaced. Outrage, sadness and confusion have since swept members of the dry cleaning community as the iron was given the boot. A nation is now left to wonder, “What do people have against neatly pressed shirts?” From here on out, a creepy silver cat (yes, the house pet that happens to be a savage serial killer) will join the ranks of the car, the shoe, the Scottie dog, the battleship and the wheelbarrow …

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