Val Patterson, a recently deceased Salt Lake City man, wrote his own obituary. Now, that'd be a pretty crazy project for anyone, but it's way crazier if you're someone like Val Patterson, who used his obituary to get a few minor things off his chest. Like, how he stole a safe? And faked his PhD? So, he had some dirt to air out, that's for sure. But he also sounds like a genuinely remorseful, kind and loving person and it's as good a start to a Wednesday as anything else you're likely to read today ...