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Don't Freak Out, but a New Mutant Virus Was Discovered in Contact Solution

It's probably nothing to be concerned about, but scientists have found a giant mutant virus in a 17-year-old French girl's contact solution. Apparently, the virus is swarming with some sort of mysterious microscopic parasite they're calling transpovirons that can jump from virus to virus, multiplying themselves. Again, no biggie. Might want to get your eyes checked is all. Sleep tight ...

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