The Boy Next Door—a fifth-rate sleazefest in which an English teacher played by Jennifer Lopez gets “involved” with one of her students—was too dumb to generate much attention when it released last week (its Rotten Tomatoes rating sits at a dismal 14 percent) but it does feature one moment of such straight-faced outlandishness, such eye-popping ludicrousness, that it must be considered worthy of whatever the opposite of an Oscar is. In the movie, Lopez’s 19-year-old student/flame/fellow literature aficionado woos his teacher by gifting her a—are you ready for this? Are you really ready?—a first edition of The Iliad.
A. First. Edition. Of. The Iliad.
That, of course, would be a little like you trying to impress your girlfriend by giving her a map to Atlantis. The Iliad was written in 762 BC. The printing press was invented in 1439 AD. Indiana Jones would outrun giant boulders for this thing, and Lopez’s student says he picked it up for “a buck at a garage sale.” Truly amazing. What an astonishing moment in film history. Enjoy your incredible archeological find, Jennifer Lopez …
