Beyoncé, National Traitor, Makes an Attempt at Redeeming Herself

The American traitor who will never be forgiven, Beyoncé, just held a pre-Super Bowl press conference in which she pays due penance for her monstrous betrayal by singing (for real this time) "The Star-Spangled Banner." The whole thing started off with Queen Bé asking everyone to rise, which doesn't seem that odd (why wouldn't you rise when Beyoncé walks into a room?) and then proceeded to redeem her Inaugural performance by way of singing the National Anthem the way it was meant to be sung. And with one intonation of her melodious voice, a grateful nation wept with understanding and forgiveness, and the world was back where it should be. With Beyoncé on top ...

4 Comments

Tyler Hogan

1

Tyler Hogan commented…

Wow, that's harsh. Who wrote this? I can see why you've chosen to opt out from placing your name with this cowardly article.

EaglesQuestions

3

EaglesQuestions replied to Tyler Hogan's comment

I'm pretty sure this is satire;

The fact that Beyonce lip-synced the first time was made such a big deal in the media, but did anyone really care?

Skevin

1,208

Skevin commented…

Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Oh no no.

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