The future is bright for a 3-year-old toddler who escaped from his home in Lincoln, Neb. and ran away to a world of toys. Specifically, he somehow managed to toddle into the local bowling alley and climb into one of those claw machines without being noticed. He probably would be content to spend the rest of his days there—the toddler king in a land of stuffed animals—had not a patron spotted him and called the police, who returned the kid to his mother. The bowling alley even let him keep one of the toys as a present, which may have been his endgame all along.
In any case, the kid not only discovered how to rip off the claw machine system, but he did what we’ve all dreamed of doing, which is actually go inside one of the machines. That is why he is the king of all babies, and this will almost certainly not be the last we hear of his great deeds …