97-Year-Old Woman Sends Robber Packing, Is a Rock Star
July 17, 2013
Marge Wolf is the 97-year-old owner of Wolf's Grocery Store in Marshfield, Wisc., and she's been running it for 54 years. She's also a total rock star, because when a masked, knife-wielding robber came into her store and demanded money, she straight up told him to take a hike. He told her to walk to the back of the store, and she said "No, I'm not walking to the back of the store. I'm standing right here and I'm staying here." When he told her to open the cash register, she said "I'm not opening the cash register." She even told the armed(!) robber to take his mask off so she could see his face, because, as we established, she is a rock star.
And, oh man, you haven't even heard the best part. Once the robber found out that he was in way over his head, he started to leave empty handed, but not before Marge offered to let him have a handful of Tootsie Rolls. That's right. Marge will beat you at your own game, and then give you some candy so you have something to take solace in while you're weeping in humiliation at the fact that sweet old lady just beat you. But of course, this isn't just any sweet old lady. This is Marge Wolf: rock star ...