The Thing That’s Really Holding You Back

Why you’re not doing what you want to do.

The Jewish, Islamic, and Christian creation stories all begin in a garden. God releases the first man and woman into His paradise with only one prohibition—don’t eat from a specific tree.

A tempter comes in the form of a serpent and tells the woman that God is holding out on them. The snake informs her that God knows that if they eat of this tree, they will be like Him.

Immediately, Eve is overcome with a fear we all have; the fear of missing out. What if God is withholding something important!? So they eat.

The man and woman’s first action after this treasonous act? Cover themselves and hide. We’ve been hiding ever since.

The Fear That Controls Us

If you asked people what underlying human emotion is responsible for our worst behavior, you’d get a ton of responses: greed, hate, pride, etc.

But I think it’s fear. In fact, I think fear is the first cause of many of our terrible character flaws. If you think about it, jealousy is the fear of loss; pride the fear of diminished position or status; greed the fear that someone might have more than you.

The things we leave undone, the conversations we never have, the risks we don’t take and the adventures we don’t have are all influenced on some level by fear.

Who said it better than Yoda? “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”

It’s not just our negative behaviors that are fueled by fear, it’s many of our sins of omission. The things we leave undone, the conversations we never have, the risks we don’t take and the adventures we don’t have are all influenced on some level by fear.

Even science seems to back this up. Anxiety disorders are the most common form of mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults, or 18 percent of the population. People with an anxiety disorder are six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders. Fear predisposes us to illnesses and then makes the recovery very difficult.

Most of the time, we don’t recognize how fear affects our health and behavior. Even though we all deal with it, fear is seen as a huge weakness. It’s really too bad, because if we were more willing to recognize its affect on us, we could do more about it.

Culture Sells Us Fear

Fear is the greatest motivator for human behavior, and the media and advertisers use this fact to their advantage. Researchers from Emory University did a study on the media coverage of health dangers in television news, magazine and newspaper articles. What they found was a strange inverse relationship between news coverage and actual health concerns. Heart disease, the no. 1 cause of death, received much less coverage as homicide, the 11th-ranked cause of death.

When interviewed for a Hunter College study on perspectives and media, a group was asked about their views of serious crime problems in America. Seventy-six percent of people backed up their perspective with stories they had seen in the media, and only 22 percent cited personal experience.

Between 1990 and 1998 when the nation’s murder rate was down by 20 percent, the number of murder stories on network news stories were up 600 percent.

Social media doesn’t help. We tend to congregate in groups that reinforce our perspective and curate news stories that fortify our specific fears and prejudices.

Scripture’s Strong Counsel

It’s no wonder that “Do not fear” is one of the Bible’s top admonitions. Jesus gives us 125 imperative statements, and 21 of those are a variation of “Fear not,” “Take courage” or “Have no fear.” Nearly every angelic visitation starts with the same advice, “Do not be afraid!”

It’s no wonder that “Do not fear” is one of the Bible’s top admonitions.

What if this advice is more profound than simply telling the listeners not to be scared about what they’re experiencing right now? What if all of heaven is constantly crying out to us, “Stop being afraid! Your life and faith is being diminished by the fears you let control you!”

Think about the things we fear and how our lives are being weakened by them:

-We’re afraid to be hurt, so we’re never truly vulnerable.
-We’re afraid to look stupid, so we never ask questions.
-We’re afraid not to be liked, so we never let people see the real us.
-We’re afraid of failure, so we never take that risk.
-We’re afraid of conflict, so we never have that difficult conversation.

We all know that perfect love drives out fear, but it seems the opposite is also true: If we let fear take hold of us, it drives out love. It drives out faith. It drives out mercy. It drives out everything good in our lives.

This comes out in conversations like that over whether the U.S. should take in Syrian refugees who are looking for shelter. Love says, “Of course we should.” But fear says, “That’s ridiculous. If there is any possible risk at all, it’s not worth it.”

It’s interesting how many of our foreign and domestic policies are controlled by fear. But let’s be honest, isn’t most of what we do?

Making a Change

Of course, you can’t stop yourself from feeling fear, anxiety and insecurity. But how would your life change right now if you decided not to be ruled by those feelings? What would you do if you actually trusted God’s promises? Do you think your life would look any different if you sincerely stopped worrying about how people felt about you?

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One of my favorite books is Henri Nouwen’s Genesee Diary, a journal of the seven months he spent in a Trappist monastery. During his time of work and silence, he had some big revelations about life and his place in it:

“You need a lot of trust to give yourself fully to someone else. . . . Many people adapt . . . but they’re not really obedient. They simply don’t want to make waves and instead go along with the trend. That is not obedience. That is adaptation. If I was able to trust more, to open myself more easily, to be more vulnerable, then obedience would not be so hard.”

How many things do we miss because we’re afraid to follow God into the unknown and do something that seems crazy, risky or foolish?

Ask anyone over 70 and they’ll tell you, the biggest regrets you will carry at the end of your life are the acts of adventure and obedience you were too afraid to take.

Ask God for courage. Be not afraid.

This article was originally published at jaysondbradley.com. Used with permission.

Top Comments

Tracy

71

Tracy commented…

It is NOT helpful to lump together the "character flaw" of fear and the medical condition called "anxiety." We need to stop blaming people suffering from the clinical condition of depression and we shouldn't blame people who suffer from the clinical condition of anxiety. In fact, we should offer them hope. Anxiety can be treated -- sometimes through talk, sometimes with medication, sometimes with a combination of both. Do these things sometimes overlap -- clinical conditions and personal, societal flaws? -- sure they can, and sometimes do. But Christians need to quit living in the dark ages regarding mental health. We're just hugely unhelpful to people when we tell them to "get over" what may be a medical issue and then blame them for it. Talk to someone who is on anti-anxiety medication -- learn what it is they struggle with, how the medication can help, and then let's get our language straight.

Kira Buxton

1

Kira Buxton commented…

God has been teaching me a lot about my fears in the last year so this article hits home. It also reminded me of 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Bottom line: if Jesus is who He says He is, we have nothing to fear by trusting Him to handle our needs because He is the all-sufficient Savior we need! This truth is easy to forget, but also such a relief. May God's people embrace this truth more deeply.

3 Comments

Tracy

71

Tracy commented…

It is NOT helpful to lump together the "character flaw" of fear and the medical condition called "anxiety." We need to stop blaming people suffering from the clinical condition of depression and we shouldn't blame people who suffer from the clinical condition of anxiety. In fact, we should offer them hope. Anxiety can be treated -- sometimes through talk, sometimes with medication, sometimes with a combination of both. Do these things sometimes overlap -- clinical conditions and personal, societal flaws? -- sure they can, and sometimes do. But Christians need to quit living in the dark ages regarding mental health. We're just hugely unhelpful to people when we tell them to "get over" what may be a medical issue and then blame them for it. Talk to someone who is on anti-anxiety medication -- learn what it is they struggle with, how the medication can help, and then let's get our language straight.

Isai David Piña Torres

1

Isai David Piña Torres commented…

I read this in a just moment. Thanks so muchos jayson. May Lord give you more wisdom to share with us.

Kira Buxton

1

Kira Buxton commented…

God has been teaching me a lot about my fears in the last year so this article hits home. It also reminded me of 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Bottom line: if Jesus is who He says He is, we have nothing to fear by trusting Him to handle our needs because He is the all-sufficient Savior we need! This truth is easy to forget, but also such a relief. May God's people embrace this truth more deeply.

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