When God Doesn’t Answer Prayer

... At least, how we want Him to answer it.

Our all-powerful, all-loving God encourages us to ask Him for what we want. But sometimes, after we’ve put it out there, He seems to turn and walk in the opposite direction. We are left with questions: Why did He want us to pray if He was just going to say no, anyway? Were we praying “wrong” in the first place? What are we supposed to do now?

I have repeated this cycle multiple times. More than a decade ago, I began experiencing unrelenting fatigue, muscle soreness and waning strength. Countless tests and doctor visits later, I received the diagnosis of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. For the next five years, I politely asked God for healing, then demanded healing, then finally gave up hope for healing.

As a result, I have been accused of lacking faith by earnest friends and prayer ministers. I’ve confessed and repented of every sin I can think of, wept, protested and spent more than a few days crippled by despair.

We tend to have one of two responses when what we asked for is not given in a timely fashion: trying harder or angry blaming.

Apparently, I am not the only one who struggled because of unanswered prayer. Last week, I invited friends to fill in the blank on my Facebook wall: “Unanswered prayer ... ” I received more than 40 responses, including the following: is deeply disappointing, makes me feel unloved, feels like a betrayal, is confusing, can be overwhelming, is business as usual.

Some of our bewilderment emerges because we actually believe that God is all powerful and that He not only wants us to come to Him like little children, but also encourages us to ask Him for everything, from babies to spouses to jobs to housing to help losing weight. Hence the disconnect when He doesn’t always give us what we want.

This paradox reminds me of our youngest son’s attitude at Christmas. He starts composing his gift list in September, and for the next four months, he will revise, add to and shamelessly share it. Yet when Christmas day rolls around, he is filled with dread—because experience has shown him that though we are good parents, we don’t always give him precisely what he requested. He has told us, “Why bother asking me if you aren’t going to buy me exactly what I want?”

Isn’t this how we feel about our heavenly Father? We tend to have one of two responses when what we asked for is not given in a timely fashion: trying harder or angry blaming.

My five years of spiritual activism post-diagnosis offer you a snapshot of trying harder. I succeeded only in wearing myself out and spiraling deeper into doubt. None of us can make ourselves worthy—that only comes as a gift from Jesus.

Angry blaming similarly leads us into a dead-end. In night four of an insomnia jag, I remember spewing at God, “Why don’t you help me get to sleep? The Bible tells me that you give sleep to those you love! Don’t you love me?” Powerlessness is its own form of suffering. When we’ve run out of other options, anger and blame give us the illusion of control. But it really is only an illusion. It didn’t help my faith, and it certainly didn’t help me to sleep.

What if, rather than interpreting God’s “no” or “not yet” as punishment or indifference, we view it as an invitation to be transformed?

For us to avoid these and other unhelpful responses when our prayers aren’t answered the way we’d hoped, we need to zoom out and glimpse the larger story.

Every day, there is an epic battle being waged for our hearts. The enemy of our soul has an entire arsenal at his disposal, but his go-to weapon is doubt. Adam and Eve didn’t disobey because they craved the apple, but because they fell for the serpent’s ruse that God was withholding good things from them. If you ever find yourself doubting God’s love or questioning His character, push back—hold to what you know to be true.

Expressing gratitude also helps to defuse our despair and suffering. Due to fibromyalgia, I can no longer book all-day photo shoots—but I can still see. I can no longer play basketball with my sons—but I can walk, and I constantly thank God for this gift and many others. Turning our hearts to God in gratitude has the capacity to flip our disappointment upside-down.

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Finally, we must be willing to explore any attachment to entitlement that might contribute to our resentment at how God has answered our prayer. We live in a consumer society and have become accustomed to getting what we want when we want it. Jesus does not promise to give us everything that we want but rather asks us to sacrifice everything—including our own desires for a specific outcome or result. This changes everything when it comes to how we pray.

What if, rather than interpreting God’s “no” or “not yet” as punishment or indifference, we view it as an invitation to be transformed? C.S. Lewis writes in The Problem of Pain, “We are a Divine work of art, something that God is making and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character.”

The possibility that waiting and suffering have the capacity to transform us offers us profound comfort while crushing our fear of God being fickle. Rather than needing God to answer my accusatory questions of “Why?” I am free to ask, “How can I find You in the midst of this?” This inquiry provides us with the traction we need to move beyond our pain and into the transformation that God has for us.

Top Comments

Jill

1

Jill commented…

July 2013 our 70lb australian shep. started having a pattern of grand mal seizures every full moon and he would cluster 4-5 times in a 12 hour period. Not wanting to put him on traditional medication because of the toxiity to the liver, we tried everything else. The dog went to see holistic vets, changed food to a raw organic diiet, blood work, x-rays, chinese medicine, acupunture....and nothing changed! We prayed over this dog daily, had him on every prayer list and I questioned over and over why God wanted to allow our dog to suffer this way. He is just like one of my children and watching him go through this just crushed me to the soul. On valentines day, at 10:40 PM he clustered for 1 hour with more than 40 seizures back to back. My daughter and I were hysterical, we were screaming, crying and begging God to take his life and spare him from the agony( and us) of these horrible seizures. I even called several emergency vet hospitals to get them to come out and put the dog down....no body helped. I cried out to God again begging for this dogs life to be taken. An hour later he lay on the floor in a puddle of urine, feces and spit. He was blind , paralyzed, and unaware of anything around him. I slept on the couch that night praying to God that I would not have to be the one to get his 70lb paralyzed body off the floor to get him to the vet to have him put down. By 6 am the next day the dogs vision had returned and he had an appetite. I could see movement in his legs but no strength to stand up. By 10 am I had made a makeshift gaiit belt and started pulling him into standing and actually got him out the door. By the end of the day we walked around the block. The next day we went back to the vet and immediately we had him put on medication. She had also suggested rechecking his thyroid with a special lab who did a breed specific thyroid test. Well the blood work came back and it was discovered that he had an underlying thyroid issue which causes seizures in dogs. This was not caught by the other two vets we had taken him to.
I look at this dog now daily and thank God for answering"NO" to my prayer for our dog Asher to die that night. God knew that he would make a full recovery, I didn't I have never been so thankful and grateful for a prayer that was answered with a "NO"
I can now more easily accept "No" and know that God has a bigger better plan....Which I praise his name for!
This "NO" is now imprinted in my brain. I like the author had the feelings in the past of God doesn't love me, what have I done, God wants to punish me, etc.... When prayers weren't answered.
Today I sit here feeling frustrated because I have prayed for a new job and have been praying to go back to school. The doors keep getting slammed in my face. I can now say I probably won't stop getting frustrated and wondering why I don't get a yes, But I have living proof of my dog Asher who was God's perfect answer of a "NO" I have to remember he knows best and we don't

Laura Badaro

3

Laura Badaro replied to Aaron Parsons's comment

"Be paient, I will anser your prayer, but not yet". This is something you made up. "How about ____ instead?" When did God give you something in place of other thing you needed? Normally when I need something desperately, He gives me a bigger problem, so I would shut up and work harder. So no, Gov does not give us things nor answers our prayers, we have to fight alone in this world. Just because you want to think about God in a softer way, it doesn't mean He is doing your life any softer. He can, but He won't. For some of us, of course.

54 Comments

Testifier Of Truth

1

Testifier Of Truth commented…

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Grateful Heart

Victor Smith Wood

1

Victor Smith Wood commented…

I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. my name is Victor Wood Smith I had a problem with my Ex Wife July-25-2015, which lead to our break up. when she broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Jacobs told me about a home of miracle healer who helped him in the same problem too his name is Doctor Morusa from South Africa, I email Doctor Morusa the home of miracle and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening within 24 hours my wife gave me a call and told me that She was coming back to me in just 24 hours and was so happy to have her back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Doctor Morusa homeofmiraclehealer@gmail.com for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster Via email address is homeofmiraclehealer@gmail.com Call +27633143105 or facebook at (Doctorl Morusa) you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies which i promise to share. Thanks

Clara Bartlett

2

Clara Bartlett commented…

Hi everyone!!!

I'm so excited share this testimony here about how i got my ex husband back after a break up. I'm Clara 28 yr old from Califonia USA, Am a woman who love and cherish my husband more than any other thing you can imagine on earth continent. My husband was so lovely and caring after 3years of marriage he was seriously ill and the doctor confirm and said he has a kidney infection that he needed a kidney donor, that was how I start searching for who can help, doctor has given me a periodic hour that he will live just 25hours left, that was how I ask the doctor if I can be of help to my husband that was how he carried out the text, the confirming was successful, I was now having this taught that since 3 years now we got married I have not be able to get pregnant can I be able to get bring again? That was the question I ask the doctor, he never answer his response was did you want to lost your husband? I immediately reply no I can't afford to lose him. After the operation my husband came back to live and was healthy I was also ok with the instruction given to me by the doctor, after 3months my husband came home with another lady telling me, that is our new wife that will give us kids and takecare of us, that was how I was confused and started crying all day, that was how my husband ran away with his new wife clearable. Since then I was confuse don't know what to do that was how I went back to the doctor and tell him everything, he told me that, this is not just an ordinary it must be a spiritual problem that was how he gave me this Email: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com that I should tell he all my problem that he can help that was how i contacted he and I do as instructed. After 28hours and I have done what he ask me to do, my husband start searching for me and went back to the doctor, that was how we well settle he also told me not to worry that I will get pregnant, this month making it the fifth Month I contacted he am now 3months pregnant. These great spell cater is a great man, if you have any kind of problem you can contact him here on his email: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call him +2348160153829

Clara Bartlett

2

Clara Bartlett commented…

Hi everyone!!!

I'm so excited share this testimony here about how i got my ex husband back after a break up. I'm Clara 28 yr old from Califonia USA, Am a woman who love and cherish my husband more than any other thing you can imagine on earth continent. My husband was so lovely and caring after 3years of marriage he was seriously ill and the doctor confirm and said he has a kidney infection that he needed a kidney donor, that was how I start searching for who can help, doctor has given me a periodic hour that he will live just 25hours left, that was how I ask the doctor if I can be of help to my husband that was how he carried out the text, the confirming was successful, I was now having this taught that since 3 years now we got married I have not be able to get pregnant can I be able to get bring again? That was the question I ask the doctor, he never answer his response was did you want to lost your husband? I immediately reply no I can't afford to lose him. After the operation my husband came back to live and was healthy I was also ok with the instruction given to me by the doctor, after 3months my husband came home with another lady telling me, that is our new wife that will give us kids and takecare of us, that was how I was confused and started crying all day, that was how my husband ran away with his new wife clearable. Since then I was confuse don't know what to do that was how I went back to the doctor and tell him everything, he told me that, this is not just an ordinary it must be a spiritual problem that was how he gave me this Email: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com that I should tell he all my problem that he can help that was how i contacted he and I do as instructed. After 28hours and I have done what he ask me to do, my husband start searching for me and went back to the doctor, that was how we well settle he also told me not to worry that I will get pregnant, this month making it the fifth Month I contacted he am now 3months pregnant. These great spell cater is a great man, if you have any kind of problem you can contact him here on his email: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call him +2348160153829

Robert Sarah

4

Robert Sarah commented…

I am from New York. I was in trouble when doctor told me that I have been diagnosed with Genital Herpes… I though about my Family, I know my Family will face a serious problem when I’m gone, I lost hope and I wept all day, but one day I was surfing the internet I found Dr. Atiti contact number. I called him and he guided me. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. Thank God, now everything is fine, I’m cured by Dr. Atiti herbal medicine, I’m very thankful to Dr. Atiti and very happy with my hubby and family. email him on atitilovespell@gmail.com OR contact his number:+2349051208634.

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