Does God Choose for Us?

How to decipher God's will—without the fear of messing up.

I was at a bridal brunch recently where the hostess praised the bride for her patience in finding a husband and because she "allowed God to choose for her."

It’s a recurring theme in Christian circles, a sweet sentiment, but is it true? If God chooses for us, then what role does obedience play in our faith? When we “let God choose,” are we canceling out our independent ability to choose grace?

But this goes far beyond a default Christian catchphrase. It taps into the ongoing philosophical debate of free will versus determinism. Basically, this poses the question: Do you have the ability to make independent decisions to determine your future, or are you merely a pawn in the game of destiny that has already been decided by your birth, genetics and socioeconomic status? Can you decide your future, or has your future already been decided for you by lots of independent variables all strung together?

If you are, in fact, walking down the one path God has laid out and no other path exists, you can easily derail His entire plan by making one small mistake.

For Christians, it’s of course also a spiritual issue. Can we decide our own future, or has a rigid path already been laid for us to which we must adhere? Is there room for free will, creativity and choice, or are we robots who pursue a pre-determined path? Do we get to decide, or have these decisions already been made for us?

It’s much easier to become deterministic—to believe that everything is out of our control and the end has already been decided. It’s easier to believe that God is choosing for us and that anything that happens to us, happens for a reason. This is how we comfort ourselves when things turn south.

The only problem with thinking this way is that it creates intense pressure. If you are, in fact, walking down the one path God has laid out and no other path exists, you can easily derail God's entire plan by making one small mistake. God's provision suddenly depends on your ability to be good.

Doesn't that make God a dictator? Doesn't that mean He has taken away free will? Walking with God suddenly becomes a multiple-choice test, and one wrong answer will wound irreparable damage. There is no room for grace in this story. Future blessings depend on your ability to be good and do good. When you start believing your walk with God is like this—choosing the right answer and not screwing up—you become incredibly self-righteous.

The classic counter-argument to this mindset goes like this: In order for love to exist, free will must exist as well. The two must live side by side. If you have love without free will, it isn't really love at all but domination.

God has already given you everything you need to find His plan, decipher His will and follow Him. 

In Deuteronomy 30, the Israelite children were wandering in the desert, and during this chapter, Moses stops to provide a timely dichotomy. If I may paraphrase, Moses is saying to them: "You need to be obedient because God is going to bless that. And finding God's path, dwelling in obedience is not that hard." Moses continues in verses 12-14, "It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, 'Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?' Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, 'Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?' No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it."

I think this is one of the most empowering verses in the Bible. Verse 19 states: "I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live." God gives us guidance on what to choose, but He will never force our hand—because without choice, love is impossible.

Think of it like this. In The Break Up, Jennifer Aniston’s character tells Vince Vaughn’s character in one telling scene that she wants him to want to do the dishes. It's like God is saying, "I want you to want to follow My will and listen to My guidance and pursue holiness, but I will never force you. I will never choose for you."

I've heard it preached before that once you become a Christian, you surrender all free will. Suddenly, you exist in a kingdom and you have no rights. But perhaps it is our very ability to choose that makes our faith all the more real.

If you choose something for your child, you can never take pride in his decision because he never owned it himself. This walk with God is not a multiple-choice test where the answers are already filled in. But perhaps it is an open-ended question, like Moses laying before the Israelites two different kinds of life. The end has not been penned.

So many times, trying to follow God seems like an insurmountable task and we find ourselves asking, "How can we be obedient? Where is this path? Is it up in heaven? Is it hidden out of reach? And who will go get it for us?" No, instead, it is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart. God has already given you everything you need to find His plan, decipher His will and follow Him. Now it is our job to choose life.


Gabriela Canchola


Gabriela Canchola commented…

I have always struggled with the question of free will vs.God's sovereignty. And I honestly think God offers both free will and is completely sovereign. Those two seemingly opposing stances actually offer two dimensions to a very complex, complicated, real God. He unifies the two in his Character.
The tension, for me, is resolved in one word: desire. He gives us what we really want! What ever path we choose, we choose because we were built with a desire for it! If in your deepest deep, you want love and goodness - then without realizing it, you want God, and you have him. We are built to choose what we choose. Not to choose what is natural to choose, is the equivalent of a bunny choosing to be a turtle. It goes against nature. It comes from not believing that God knows how to be God. Animals can't do that, but humans can. I think some humans are built to choose evil, so they do. But I think others are simply lost. They are so out of touch of what is natural, that they don't realize how unnatural they are living, so they haven't had the chance to personally choose what they are built to actually want.
As a mother, my son's will is my will. Nothing would make me happier than seeing my son happy. If building with blocks and eventually becoming an architect is what gives him the most satisfaction, than that is what he is built for and that is what I want him to do. But because he still doesn't know that about himself, he thinks that when I say no to him, its because I am mean and don't want him to be happy, but what I am really doing is protecting his future happiness. To please me by obeying me, is actually to do what is best on your own behalf, because my will is that he realizes a happy fulfilled life!
So while he is living in my house, he is perfectly free to do anything he wants so much as he doesn't break the rules that are meant to protect him from hurting his future! He is more free under my rules, living out my will, than he is living out in the streets with no rules! But if he is determined to live how he pleases, ignoring his natural tendencies, I can't force him to be happy...



VANZELL commented…

"Blessed is the man whom you choose, and cause to approach unto you." Psalm 65:4

Iliana Gerasimenko


Iliana Gerasimenko commented…

This is a very interesting debate, as some already mention. I dare to disagree with some parts of this article simply because it misses the fullness and completeness of the the question.

Does God choose for us? Yes, if we ask Him we shall receive. He provides a variety of choices for us that would be pleasing in His sight.

I believe that God equips us to make better choices as we grow and become more mature in our faith. I also agree where the author mentions that this could sometimes translate into self righteousness for some people. However, if we go to God in humility and ask Him to guide us as we seek His leading on any situation, including the choosing a mate, He is gracious and is more than able to lead us by the hand to the person that He finds suitable for us.

There is nothing impossible for God and He wants to be included in every part of our lives and in every decision. Our view of God tends to determine our relationship with Him...if e see Him as only someone who set things in motion and now we get to choose everything for ourselves, then that is what we will do and experience the 'trial-and-error' in our lives. But on the flip side, although we have ideas and feelings about what we should do and what our hearts desires, if we surrender that to the Lord and ask Him to give us the Wisdom, Understanding and Discernment about the issue, He will give that to us. The thing is, we do not like to wait for His response...but the Scripture tells to wait on the Lord and that there will be seasons where we feel like the Lord is silent. Here is the thing we get to choose: are we going to take it into our own hands and end up with the 'impostor', or are we going to allow God to keep us in that dwelling place as He prepares us for what we truly desire and need?

Bekar Joe


Bekar Joe commented…

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Mullar Sharron


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