It's been a few days since we first heard the rumors that a Goonies sequel was on the way. But now there's confirmation and, what's more, there's a writer. None other than Steven Spielberg will be in charge of getting the gang back together—and it will be the gang. It sounds like the original cast is all on board to go find One-Eyed Willy's treasure again, or whatever they end up doing. In any case, this franchise isn't going to die. That is something Goonies just do not do ... Discuss

 

On April 12, the Army officially started allowing its members to identify as humanists, who previously had to identify simply as "no religious preference." A study by the Defense Equality Opportunity Management Institute found 3.6 percent of the U.S. military unofficially identify as humanists, so the change isn't massive in terms of who it will effect. But it does give officials more to work with when planning a soldier's funeral and, perhaps more importantly, lowers the hurdles for one day adding humanist chaplains. “This is a big victory,” Jason Torpy, president of the Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers, told RNS. “This is one part, and the easiest part, of a very long list of other reforms that have to happen before we have equality, not just belief or no belief but theistic belief and nontheistic belief like ours" ... Discuss

 

Stephen and Alysha McLaughlin are grown adults capable of making sound decisions, so they decided to create a website called namemydaughter.com—which is exactly what it sounds like—and post that website to Reddit. Yes, this couple took to the Internet to find a name for their new girl, and it went about as well as you might expect. The Internet weighed in, and they have chosen Cthulhu All-Spark.

Cthulhu, as you may know, is H.P. Lovecraft's fictional "old god" who plagues our world with nightmares until his dark reign can be re-established. You can see his charming likeness here. The All-Spark is something from the Transformers franchise, and who can even remember what it was used for. Together, they are the name of a young girl who will go through life saddled with both that name and the knowledge that her parents left her name in the hands of millions of strangers.

Or, it would have been, had her parents not taken stock of the situation and thought better of it. They're going with Amelia Savannah Joy instead, which is actually very pretty and makes you wonder why they even needed this competition in the first place. In any case, Cthulhu will be might displeased if he hears of this, so let's keep this one quiet ... Discuss

 

Billy Eichner is a comedian. Pitbull is a rapper. Amy Poehler is—well, you know who Amy Poehler is. And all three of them come together for an excellent game of "It's Not Pitbull—it's Amy Poehler," which is the game our generation has long needed. And, if any of you hail from New York City, think back to that time you met Pitbull on the street. Are you sure it was really Pitbull? ... Discuss

 
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